This Sentence Will Ruin/Save Your Life // 1:17 – 1:27
“I need a girlfriend, I’m lonely. Someone to love me and fuck me. I need to get laid immediately. But also someone to fulfill my needs.” – Born Ruffians
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After checking in with X & confirming he was at least okay with exploring the idea, me being me, I immediately launched into trying to find a worthy human for us to explore this absolutely daunting concept with. I’d like to also point out, I still had a decent amount of faith in humanity on an individual level at this point. Key word: had.
As I mentioned in earlier entries, my main curiosity with non-monogamy (unintentionally) swirled around polyamory. It had been the center of every exposure I’d had to anything resembling “the lifestyle” up to this point. The trash TV shows, documentaries & blogs, I’d eaten all that shit up quietly in my corner of monogamy… but now I had freedom to walk, so I knew in quick order I was going to be able to run. After a few long discussions, X agreed it wasn’t such a bad idea and we had a pretty good idea of what we were looking for: someone we could both be friends with who would fuck me whenever I wanted. It seemed simple enough at the time…
Now, when I tell you this one’s nickname, please don’t think it’s a slight at anyone resembling his name sake… but if the shoe fits.
Right around the time I was getting bold enough to put things like “poly-curious” on my FS/A, I matched with a cute, nerdy lookin’ guy, we’ll call him Great Value Brand Charlie Runkle or CR for short. His profile was pretty bare if memory serves right, but then again my idea of a full profile requires 10 pictures, a video or two & at least three full paragraphs laying bare your soul & honest intentions for the internet. That’s how I do it at least. His dick was big enough to overlook the fact he seemed pretty boring on first blush.
We met up at our usual spot & dinner went great! Learned a little about him and were quickly introduced to the baggage he totes around. No matter, I start every interaction the same regardless of what hang ups other people have – we’re both meat sacks, lets slap our squishy tubes together and see how it goes. Who cares what your home life is like? Not like I need to be concerned.
We progressed to the hotel room phase of the night at light speed, went over the usual pre-fuck pleasantries & before I knew it his fat cock was balls deep inside me with me loving every single minute of it…except him having major issues staying hard. Okay, no biggie. I’m not one to judge, it’s a situation that is so far out of the norm for most people that I’m pretty forgiving. And we had boner pills on deck so if he was down, he was more than welcome to indulge. He did and the fuck fest carried on without a single hitch. My pussy was more than pleased after we got a done.
The weirdest part was how easily CR vibed with X & I after everyone had their clothes back on. At this point that was an anomaly in comparison to all our other encounters. Everyone so far was either absolutely exhausted or ready to bolt after I had my way with them. But he actually sat there and bullshitted for a minute, we had more in common with him than initially thought.
I should have known by how well (poorly in hindsight?) it went after the first night that this was just another life lesson from the universe. I still had a pair of rose colored glasses stapled firmly to my head, wanting to see the best in every bastard so to speak.
X & I spent the next couple of weeks getting to know CR with me trying to fuck him as often as possible. He had a great dick, an okay disposition, but hell if he didn’t preach more about “feminism” than I did & I’m you know…a fuckin’ woman. Rose colored glasses, maybe he’s being sincere.
He continued to dump his life story on us at light speed. A sad tale of a semi-failed (successful?) musician who got laid up with two children by a “horrible, absusive alcoholic” who’s bed I was technically being fucked in two to three times a week. Rose colored glasses, maybe it really is circumstances beyond his control.
His dick continued to never work & I continued to feed him Blue Chew (SPONSOR ME, YOU COWARDS) so at least I could get a nut in when we went to the trouble of going over to his place.
As the month went on, I tried to be his friend the best way I’ve figured out how to as an adult: sending nudes at random, but regular intervals & trying to chit-chat when we both had time. He was the only man I’ve ever had ask me to slow down on sending him nudes. Rose colored glasses, maybe I was sending him too many cute pics/videos of my tits, ass & pussy.
Every meet up was the same until it wasn’t. X would hangout, play his Switch & I’d get my back blown out (Blue Chew locked and loaded). Until we walked in his house & saw a pointy faced far-right talking head squeaking out the usual hateful bullshit on his TV.
The cracking, whiny voice of a well groomed quasi-predator ripped the rose color glasses off in an instant.
Ahhh, there we go. Full technicolor vision again.
I quietly sat down & tried to piece together what fuckin’ signs I’d missed this time & if he actually believed the shit this little fucker was spewing or if I hate just spent a month of my life fucking someone who could very easily be defined as a boot licking piece of shit bigot.
As I sat there, taking in the scene, it suddenly hit me in waves. As quickly as he had seemed like one of the coolest people we’d met up to this point he turned into one of the worst. His dick was boring & clumsy, he couldn’t eat pussy to save his life & his house was a shrine to a woman he claimed to love enough to raise her children while she was away at rehab, but was definitely not telling her about the 32 year old (who knows who else) he fucked in their house, on their bed.
It dawned on me that if this fucker believes the shit I saw on his tv & lies to every single person in his life he claims to actually love, he’d have absolutely no issue lying to my slutty ass. How much of what this guy had told me was utter bullshit? How much of it was actually true?
I try and have tried for several years now to run my life by “The Way of Absolute Candor”. Star Trek nerds should know exactly what I mean, but for the laymen in the crowd it means absolute truth. No lies, even when it hurts like a bitch to tell the truth.
After that realization it wasn’t long before I was forced to have another & the hard-on I’d carried around for the guy for the last few weeks quickly & completely shriveled up into itself & died. Sorta like his did all the time now that I think of it, so maybe the feeling was finally mutual.
WIP
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