“Stick around because I’m about to show ya how the beginning is the end.” – Air Traffic Controller
I’ve never really led what anyone could call a normal life. Whether by self imposed or grand cosmic design, from the time I made my unfortunate arrival on this earth to the present as I sit here, staring into the void of dark theme Google docs, it’s been good, bad & ugly, but never really boring. Which is exactly why I should have been far less surprised by the turn my life has taken as of late.
It was an early morning after a late night in April. I laid in bed next to my apocalypse partner of the last 17 years, my head swimming in vodka from events earlier in the evening. Sprawled out under the blankets, naked & cozy, it wasn’t long before fooling around ensued and fucking followed.
I didn’t realize it while in the throes of my drunken, debaucherous bliss, but our lives were about to completely change with one simple sentence.
It had been a week where X had been making a weirdly large effort to get me more fucked up than usual (a.k.a blackout drunk) & I figured it was for his favorite game, of “you have permission and prior, standing consent to fuck the sleepy drunk girl“. This is something that had become annoyingly common in our relationship in the last few years so I figured it was more of the same. Obviously I was wrong or I wouldn’t be here typing this. Everything was business as usual until in the middle of one of my moaning bouts I heard a very quiet, very intense voice come out of the person attached to dick inside of me that whispered “I want to share you“.
Still feeling X’s cock slowly pumping in and out of my increasingly wet cunt, my eyes flew open and I looked up at the early morning rays of sunshine streaming in as I felt my brain completely reset. When it came back online, it was filled with questions. Lots and lots of questions that were tinged with feelings of confusion and apprehensive elation.
While I had no plans to cheat or leave, I had been curious about stepping outside of monogamy for years. You can only catch your partner in so many lies before you start taking into consideration other, less harmful and more fair ways for both of you, perhaps even together, to explore your individual sexual appetites. I’d made the odd comment here & there, but I never really thought it was anything X would be comfortable trying. And up to this point, I had tolerated his seemingly inherent need to fuck around, like many people do when they’re in love, by holding out hope there would be lasting change.
Monogamy had never been my default setting, but because of my love for X, his long list of insecurities and the standards with which I and most people grow up with regarding intimate relationships, I had resigned myself to it long ago. I’d even cut myself off from work related opportunities to maintain it. As an adult content creator, I was fine working solo or solely with X. In my mind the last 17 years had shown I was happy enough just having him & my solo slut presence online. But the second those words left his lips, I couldn’t help thinking that if he was willing to trust me & our relationship enough to try something different…why not give it a shot? Maybe this was the change I had been holding out for. If both of us were onboard and aware of each other’s shenanigans for once, safely including other people for sexual entertainment couldn’t hurt.
As I laid there feeling X’s cock getting harder with every thrust, I finished processing what I had just heard. I would like to say I stopped him because of the shock wave that one simple sentence had sent through my brain, but my pussy was far too into what it had just been told & what it was feeling to pay attention to what my consciousness was struggling to sort out at the time.
After a bit though my curiosity overtook my sex drive & I slowed him down enough to string together a single coherent sentence.
“Are you serious or is this new dirty talk?“
Not missing a single beat and without even a hint of hesitation he whispered back in my ear that he was serious. I felt his cock start to throb as he continued pounding into me, my pussy almost quivering from how hard it was gripping him. Very quickly after we both rolled into orgasm and the real conversation he had just sparked could start to take place.
Still hoping that his hard on wasn’t the only one doing the talking I asked what the next step was. Where the fuck do we (safely and sanely) find people to “share” me with? How the fuck does this process work? How long have you been thinking about this? How long had I?
In the midst of doing crossfire style questions on each other to try to find the answers, I had a memory of something that happened a couple months prior pop into my mind. I flashed back to a very “Spiderman points at Spiderman” meme moment where in the middle of me lamenting how we don’t have access to cloning technology so that we could both experience some weird, sci-fi version of a threesome, X randomly asked if I wanted to fuck other dudes. Through narrowed eyes I simply answered with a question of my own: did he want me to fuck other dudes? No, of course not. Cue a topic change and normal continuance to the rest of the night.
Even in that moment I found myself wondering if he had always been such a terrible liar or had I been worn down into complacency over the years, accepting that’s all he was capable of, all I deserved and all I could do to delay the next big fight that always seemed to spring up a little bit longer?