After almost half a year of non-monogamy I’d started to take each person and adventure as learning experiences. Slowly figuring out what works for us & what doesn’t through trial and error. And Mr. Bullshit was a big lesson in a lot of ways. One that I didn’t initially recognize for what it was until I was well into wasting my time.

A week or two after fucking GCB, I found Mr. Bullshit swiping on one of new dating apps we’d made an account on. He was easy to talk to, seemed on the up & up minus coming out of what seemed like a really gnarly, abusive relationship by his own account and was staunchly polyamorous. I’ll admit I let my guard down pretty quickly, after the string of people who the only thing we had in common was wanting to fuck each other, I was ready to fuck someone I actually liked and found interesting as a human being and Mr. Bullshit fit the bill.

If you can’t tell by his given nickname, that was a stupid fuckin’ mistake. As per usual.

Between being physically & mentally attracted to Mr. Bullshit & being insanely curious about polyamory, I was excited as hell when he agreed to meet up with us one sunny Saturday.

My mind swam with the possibilities polyamory might offer X & I, even outside Mr. Bullshit. I had always wondered after seeing peeks of it in the friendships I’d had in the past & of course in documentaries. If given the right person/people, I could see myself existing happily in a situation like that. And here I was being presented with an opportunity to learn from someone already balls deep in it, so of course I jumped in face first.

We showed up to the usual dive bar and sat down in a booth facing the door. A few minutes later, in walked Mr. Bullshit looking like if a kicked puppy was a facial expression instead of a horrible act. 

I waved him over and was instantly smitten the second he sat down next to me despite or maybe because of his initial disposition. He radiated a nervous energy I can see now was definitely powered by not knowing what he really wanted. Or maybe not even wanting to really be there.

His anxiety slipped away as we chatted and got to know each other physically and otherwise, he seemed to be enjoying himself and our little dinner date as he regaled us with stories of his tragic past and the woes his polyamorous lifestyle had brought into his life so far.

Not the best dinner topic & definitely something I would now see as an obvious red flag, but 2020 Fonda was completely buying his line of bullshit.

An hour or two and a lot of making out in the booth later, I asked the usual question of whether or not he wanted to grab a hotel and get to know each other in a more biblical sense. Much to my surprise, considering how the night had gone so far, he shook his head in a sad, sincere way and said he didn’t feel comfortable doing that, but was down to try to meet up again. No problem! I totally get it, fresh breaks up are hard and so is putting yourself out there again.

We parted ways with a kiss and grope. X & I headed back to our car, both weirdly impressed by the golden retriever in human form that was just presented to us. If I was going to give anything a serious, long term shot, we both decided it should be with someone like him.

Fast forward to a couple long months later. We still hadn’t met back up with him (even after I tried to for the first month) & he was very much still wasting my time with the “will we, won’t we” play and constant bouts of whining about his ex-girlfriend in text messages. It’s hard as fuck to get to know someone when those are the only two topics they seem to be able to hold up in conversation.

So I gave up.

One night after another text session where I felt more drained coming out of it than going in, I realized I was not only inconveniencing my ACTUAL partner with updates on this guy’s bullshit, I was also wasting my own damn time. Pretty quickly after that I decided I was over it. No one was pretty or interesting enough to warrant this much emotional labor from me for free without also supplying good orgasms or at least reciprocal friendship. Mr. Bullshit had plenty of time and chances to provide either or both & decided it was worth more to him to use me as a free therapist.

I pointed that out in so many words and (say it with me now) then I blocked him.

I had (unfortunately) forgotten that he knew my Instagram & a few months ago he reached out on there to apologize. And again…wanting to believe the best in people, I accepted his apology. A short conversation via text later where it became painfully clear this was simply to absolve him of whatever weird guilt he held onto about our last interaction, I thought better of it & decide to let his actions speak for him. He never said another word to me. It’s hilarious now, but at the time I won’t lie, it was a huge disappointment. To avoid anymore of my precious time in this hellscape being wasted by someone who doesn’t even want to dick me down, I re-blocked him everywhere I could think of just to try and be sure he wasn’t going to pop back up with more (say it with me) bullshit.

Good riddance & good luck, Mr. Bullshit.

Now did I learn my lesson from this pitiful interaction & start trusting pretty people less? Fuck no. That comes a couple entries from now…