Almost immediately after we’d both cum harder than either of us had in awhile (look at me, making assumptions about his orgasms like I have a dick or something), I rolled over, grabbed my phone and dove into the depths of the internet researching & signing up for these sites he’d found in the weeks he had be mulling over whether or not to approach me with this offer of debauchery. AdultFriendFinder this… FetLife that… Fling. Tinder. Feeld. Bumble. A whole list of sites whose names I’d heard over the years, but never had any real reason to give a second thought to. I had taken monogamy seriously for most of our relationship even if X didn’t.

I dipped between creating these shiny new slut accounts & drunkenly reading and re-reading the article that had spurred him into talking to me about all of this in the first place.

It was written from the POV of a woman describing her own situation with this lifestyle in a way that I’d never heard before. Where you can do this type of thing and no one has to take any humiliation from it they don’t want to. X (to my knowledge) had never been into insults for pleasure & I’m the type of person to throw even meaner words at anyone pointing them at someone I love

I scrolled through website after website, trying to learn about/adapt to my new environment and ever-broadening state of mind. Something, something Vixen/Stag/Buck vs. Cuckold/Hot Wife/Bull. The terms being used to describe things took on a new importance that I hadn’t considered while trying to figure out what to type into the tube site search box for the last couple years. You can put whatever fantasy you want on a porn clip so long as all the players are there, but when it comes to real life, words and context definitely matter.

After even more talking he proclaimed he had no desire for these dude’s to shit talk or degrade him, he just wanted the equivalent of live, personalized porn and I wanted to be the world’s slut online and IRL. Never in our relationship had it ever been more obvious to me than in these first few moments of post-nut clarity and planning that X & I were and have always been a match made in an especially colorful level of Hell.

With his okay & confirmation (multiple times) that this was something he actually wanted to go forward with, while pointing out this was one of those things where once it was tried & tested, there was no going back, I signed up and picked a name that I figured no one else would find me under. Since I’ve had quite the sexual presence on the internet for well over a decade, I decided to go with something totally out of left field to (at least temporarily) hide the fact that my day job for the last 10+ years has been making independent fetish porn.

For the first time in my adult life I was just a silly slut on the internet looking for easily accessible genitals that would obey boundaries & fuck me senseless. We weren’t even sure there would be any interest. I’m over 30 & I’m not exactly the picture perfect example of the traditional Midwestern beauty standard. I’ve curated my look over the years to be understood by men as “GET AWAY OR I MIGHT FUCKIN’ STAB YOU” not “Feel free to flirt, ya big slut.”

That evening after a much needed daylong nap, we lazily laid in bed as we checked the main fuck site we’d decided to make our slutty home base  on only to find 20+ messages & dozens of messages on every other site and app in my spark of drunken genius I’d thought to make an account on. Overwhelmed is an apt word to describe how it felt seeing the piles of messages & reading through them, but so are hopeful, surprised & horny.

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